Mind the Gap

Here are a few headlines from this week that I didn’t bring you, but luckily lots of other people did!

1) What do you do about a Homophobic Teacher?(Family Equality Council)

2) The Return of the Penguin (Mombian)

3) Adoption Rights for Lesbian and Gay Couples in Tennessee (Proud Parenting)

4) $65M for Gay Rights, HIV/AIDS Groups (CNN)

5) Foster Bid Refused Over 'Beliefs' (BBC)

6) Senate OKs Bill Aiding Non-Parents [non-bio parents too] Seeking Visitation (Desert News)

Involved, Invisible, Ignored

Yesterday, GLSEN released the first comprehensive report on the experiences of LGBTQ families in education. Their findings are not encouraging. Despite LGBTQ parents, on average, being more active in schools and in more regular communication with school administors and teachers than hetero counterparts, kids are still being given a hard time. Not surprisingly in schools where anti-harassment and bullying initiatives are in place both parents and children reported more positive experiences.

A few statistics:
Nearly a quarter of students feel unsafe around other students due to others’ negative attitudes toward people with LGBT parents.

42 percent of students said they have been verbally harassed at school in the past year because their parents are LGBT.

Nearly a quarter of students said that a teacher, principal or other school staff person had discouraged them from talking about their family at school.

Unacceptable.

Read the report here.

NY Divorce Precedent

It is a good week to be a gay divorcee in NY.

In the first ruling of its kind, a judge will allow a couple married in Canada to file for divorce and settle a custody dispute in the state; a step in the right direction for New York.

What is really more interesting then the exciting new divorce rights we just attained, is the custody dispute that is going along with the divorce. I feel a little soap opera-y writing all the details out, but here it goes.

Donna, is the bio parent of both of the couples kids. Beth, didn’t adopt either of their daughters. Beth filed a motion to determine her parental rights and monetary obligations to her kids. Donna claims Beth has no right to the girls and that the case should be dismissed. But, Justice Laura Drager of New York County Supreme Court denied Donna’s motion to dismiss the case.

As far as custody goes, Drager is going against the 1991 ruling in Allison D. v. Virginia M. that found a woman whose partner had birthed their babies and who had not adopted those babies to be a “legal stranger” to the children. Drager is citing more recent appellate rulings challenging the precedent.

Here’s where the marriage part comes back in. Drager stated that the fact they entered into a marriage agreement is significant in determining custody even if they live in a state that does not grant marriages to two women. "These factors significantly affect the children's welfare... Although people enter into marriages for many reasons, creating familial bonds is one of the most significant reasons, particularly for the benefit of their children”

Interesting. Adopt those kids. Or at least get yourself married.

It's Elementary on the Radio

You can hear Debra Chasnoff talk about the re-release of It's Elementary here.

Leap Year

Slim pickings around the web when it comes to interesting leap year resources. Here is the best of what I found:

1) Brain Pop features another great animated guide for kids. Check it out here.

2) Brush up on the whose and whats of leap year, so you are ready to explain just why February gains and looses that day. Here’s a pretty comprehensive overview.

3) Leap year is not the best occasion for e-cards, but the final line on this one is kind of clever. It reads “Do something EXTRAordinary with this EXTRA day”. Send it to a little one from here.

4) Embrace the leap year frog theme, by making your own paper pond full of leaping creatures. Instructions for origami frogs can be found here or here.

5) If the leap year spirit really has a hold on you, Wilton’s site features a how-to on making a lucky leap frog cake that serves 50! Check it out here.

Just the Facts

I like to keep up on the resources schools are using to figure out how to address the needs of our kids. Download the new edition of "Just the Facts about Sexual Orientation and Youth: A Primer for Principals, Educators and School Personnel."

Here is a blurb from the AP press release:
It is intended to help school administrators foster safe and healthy school environments, in which all students can achieve to the best of their ability. "Just the Facts" includes the most recent information from professional health organizations, as well as up-to-date information on the legal responsibility of school officials to protect students from anti-gay harassment. "Just the Facts" has been mailed to all 16,000 public school superintendents in the United States.

FYI: Family Research Council has their own school related resource with a decidedly different spin. Their pamphlet titled, "Homosexuality and Your Children’s School," takes issue with publications like "Just the Facts" (and lots of other gay things). If you are up for a little bigotry you can read a synopsis here.

It's Elementary

It’s Elementary is being re-released on DVD! Broadcast in 1999 on PBS channels throughout the US, It’s Elementary, looks at discussions about LGBTQ people and issues in six elementary and middle schools. As their website says, “It's Elementary models excellent teaching about family diversity, name-calling, stereotypes, community building and more.”

The DVD edition comes with lots of goodies. Included is: the full-length film, a 37-minute educational training version of the film, and a 136 page guide to “to community organizing, professional development and K-8 curriculum” in PDF form. Also on the disc is new documentary titled, It’s STILL Elementary, that looks at the effects the originally film had on the lives of some of the children and teachers featured in the film.

It’s a little out of my price range at the moment, but I will be waiting and hoping it comes to a PBS station near me soon! Ground Spark is taking pre-orders now.

Broadway Baptist Church

The 125th anniversary edition church directory of Broadway Baptist Church in Fort Worth, TX has been making news lately. Apparently the church has a reputation for being open and welcoming to LGBTQ Christians. It is so open and welcoming that the church’s board of deacons voted to exclude family photos from this year’s directory, so that people wouldn’t be offended by the inclusion of photos of queer families. Lame.

Here's a link to an article in Monday's Dallas News.

New Sibling Registry

I just read that a free alternative to the Donor Sibling Registry is in development. Donor Offspring Matches’ site is under construction. It is light on info, but if it is something that's of interest to you take a look here.

My Really Cool Baby Book

In all the hours I have spent in the kid’s section, I never noticed Todd Parr’s, “My Really Cool Baby Book”. Parr’s inclusive story lines and signature style make his books an easy sell for queer families. His baby book is no different. I love that there is a page that reads, “Some special babies are adopted.” and then there is an option to check “I am”. Learn more about Parr here.

Tru Loved

Lesbian pregnancy movies are a dime a dozen at queer film festivals. But a teen movie about a high school student with two moms who move her from her friendly San Francisco neighborhood to a conservative suburb is a little more rare. Tru Loved is such a movie and it is premiering this week at the Sedona Film Festival. Read more here.

Buddy G

I am so happy to see some high quality kid’s programming in which the parents just happen to be lesbians. Though I haven’t seen the first episode yet, the sneak peek available on the Buddy G website looks promising.

The animated show stars 5-year-old Buddy G, a blond haired little boy who loves science and adventure. In episode #1, The Lost Rings, Buddy G along with his armband computer, Socrates, and best friend Owen, learns the value of being truthful and picks up a few science facts along the way.

Creators Donna Colley and Margaux Towne-Colley have this to say about their inspiration and hope for Buddy G:

We know we are a minority and that most kids have a mom and a dad, but for little guys like our son we thought wouldn’t it be grand if there were something more available to them. Something like a cartoon, like a Caillou with two moms or dads. The more we talked about it the more important it became. It was almost like, if we didn’t do something about it after we had this fantastic idea, then we were somehow being irresponsible parents. So out of that, “Buddy G” was born. It took longer, cost more and was way harder then we thought it would be, but we couldn’t be happier or more proud of the cartoon and the potential it represents. “Buddy G” has added incredible joy to our family and we hope he adds a little happiness to yours.

The DVD is available here for $10.

StoryCorps

StoryCorps began in 2003 with a single recording booth in Grand Central Station and has grown to become one of the largest oral history projects of its kind.

Here is a sweet excerpt from a recording of a lesbian mom and her daughter.

You can find out about recording your own story here. After your session, you receive a CD recording of your interview. A copy is also archived at the Library of Congress.

Suing Florida Hospital

It has been a year since Lisa Pond died in a Miami hospital. The whole thing still breaks my heart and enrages every bit of me. Yesterday Lambda Legal announced plans to sue the hospital on Janice’s behalf.

Here is an excerpt from a Lambda Legal press release. (You can read the whole thing here.)

While on a family cruise leaving from Miami Lisa Pond, a healthy 39 year-old, suddenly collapsed. She was rushed to Miami's Jackson Memorial Hospital with her partner Janice and three children following close behind. There, the hospital refused to accept information from Janice about her partner's medical history. Janice was informed that she was in an antigay city and state, and she could expect to receive no information or acknowledgment as family. A doctor finally spoke with Janice telling her that there was no chance of recovery. Other than one five minute visit, which was orchestrated by a Catholic priest at Janice's request to perform last rites, and despite the doctor's acknowledgement that no medical reason existed to prevent visitation, neither Janice nor her children were allowed to see Lisa until nearly eight hours after their arrival. Soon after Lisa's death, Janice tried to get her death certificate in order to get Life Insurance and Social Security benefits for their children. She was denied both by the State of Florida and the Dade County Medical Examiner.

So terrible.

Malcolm X

Assassinated on this day in 1965, Malcolm X is someone to teach the kids about. "I am for truth, no matter who tells it. I'm for justice, no matter who it is for or against," he said the same year he was killed.

Here are few good resources:
1) Brain Pop’s animated guide is really good. See it here.

2) Walter Dean Myers’ book, Malcolm X: A Fire Burning, is recommended by the School Library Journal. According to them, the succinct, straightforward text is suitable in content and tone for younger children, while the picture-book format provides accessibility for older reluctant readers as well.
Buy it here.

3) You can send educational e-cards from PBS’ site. Go here to check it out.

4) I am a fan of a study guide. This is meant for teachers presenting on the Autobiography of Malcolm X, but great for parents looking for ways to enrich topics at home. Look here.

Bad Judge

I don’t know how interesting all of this is to anyone else, but I do like seeing some proper justice done. Earlier this week Spanish judge, Fernando Ferrín Calamita, was suspended from the General Judiciary Council for purposefully delaying the application of a woman adopting her partner’s bio-kid. Last year the same judge awarded custody to a father on the basis that the mother was queer.

This is the first time the council has suspended a judge as a result of LGBTQ bias.

Mom's Apple Pie

I hadn't heard about this documentary, but apparently it has been making the rounds through college campuses and PBS channels since 2006. It is showing far far from my house tonight, but if I lived in Arizona I would totally go.

Here is the official blurb:
Mom's Apple Pie: The Heart of the Lesbian Mothers' Custody Movement

While the beginnings of the LGBT Civil Rights movement was gaining momentum, the 1970s witnessed horrific custody battles for lesbian mothers. Mom's Apple Pie: The Heart of the Lesbian Mothers' Custody Movement revisits the early tumultuous years of the lesbian custody movement through the stories of five lesbian mothers and their four children.

Narrated by Kate Clinton, the documentary interviews the sons and daughters who were separated from their mothers, the mothers themselves, and one woman who made the difficult decision to flee with her children. Founders of the Lesbian Rights Project (now the National Center for Lesbian Rights) and the Lesbian Mothers' National Defense Fund recount the founding of their organizations in response to the bevy of court rulings granting custody to grandparents, fathers and distant relatives based on the belief that lesbians would be unfit parents.

LGBTQ families Conference

LGBTQ activists, experts and decision makes will attend a conference in Slovenia from March 4th-6th, to draw attention to the lack of recognition and discrimination affecting queer families in Europe.

Martin K.I. Christensen, Co-Chair of ILGA-Europe Executive Board stated:
"Currently, most EU member states and the EU itself have a very narrow interpretation and understanding of what constitutes a family – married heterosexual couple and their children.

"We want to shed the light on the lived realities and draw the attention of European decision makers to the fact that people live in a variety of arrangements and families.

"We believe it is not a matter for a state or the EU to prescribe how people should organize their lives, but rather to acknowledge, recognize and support every family in all their diversity.”

In conjunction with the conference, ILGA-Europe will launch a series of 12 posters and postcards portraying the diversity of LGBTQ families. Look forward to seeing a little social marketing!

Lunar Eclipse

Push back bedtimes, make some hot chocolate, and head out to your stoop. Tonight is ths last lunar eclipse for three years!

Though the moon will be blocked by the earth's shadow, there should be quite a show. Bright oranges, reds, dark browns and grays will hopefully be visible. The partial eclipse begins at 8:43 p.m. (on the east coast). The total eclipse will begin at 10:01 p.m. and end at 10:51 p.m.

For a kid friendly lunar eclipse intro go here.

Advancing Equality Day

Ironically coinciding with the Nashville’s 4th annual Advancing Equality Day, Tennessee’s House K-12 Subcommittee will begin discussion of a bill that would bar “instruction or materials discussing sexual orientation other than heterosexuality” in public elementary and middle schools.

"I think the schools should stick to the basics: reading, writing, and arithmetic. And maybe some civics," says bill sponsor Rep. Stacey Campfield. "But teaching transgenderism to middle school students ... I don't think that's the road we should go down."

According to Campfield, the bill was written in response to a National Education Association resolution suggesting that schools provide information on a diversity of sexual orientations and gender identifications in sex-ed classes.

Campfield's bill will take control away from school boards that currently mandate the sex ed curriculum in their districts. Memphis City Schools are currently considering a new curriculum that would address gender identity and homosexuality.

You can read the bill here.

Fun Fact: Campfield once sponsored a bill requiring the state to issue death certificates for aborted fetuses. You can read about him in his own words here.

Update: The proposal was overturned. Good.

Presidents Day

I was a nanny for a lot of years. A printable filled up many a long hour. One month we colored our way through all of the presidential coloring pages found here. And found the kid's section of the White House webpage pretty useful. Happy presidential learning!

Israel's Adoption Ruling

Watching basic rights slowly trickle in makes me grumpy. But I guess a trickle is better then nothing.

In international adoption news, last Sunday, Attorney General Menachem Mazuz, broadened the adoption rights of LGBTQ couples in Israel. Previously adoption rights were extended only if one partner was biologically linked to a child.

“I welcome the decision,” said Welfare Minister Isaac Herzog. “There is no reason why same-sex couples who meet the criteria for adoption should not be able to join the process of adoption and of parenthood. We must adapt to the spirit of the times and the changes that are afoot.”

Other countries that allow LGBTQ people to adopt children: Guam, Andorra, Belgium, Iceland, Ireland, Hungary, the Netherlands, Sweden, South Africa, Spain, the United Kingdom and some parts of Australia, Canada and the United States. Denmark, Finland, Germany, and Norway have laws like Israel's previous ones, only allowing a person to adopt their partner’s biological children.

Valentine's Day Wishes

Happy Valentine's Day to all the mommas, babies and babies other mammas!

My Healthy Valentine

Here is some cute candy-free valentine inspiration!

"You are the Apple of my Eye"
Made with a bag of organic apples, a few sheets of paper, a sharpie and tape. A good inexpensive idea if you are giving valentines to lots of kids.


"I am Bananas for You"
I can't take credit for this one, this idea is everywhere. It is my favorite!


"I Dig You"
This old saying turns a kid's garden shovel ($2.99 from Target) into a great valentine's treat!

Freedom to Marry Week

It's the 11th Annual Freedom to Marry Week. Agitate, activate and win those 1,000 federal benefits extended to man/woman couples who get married. Or go here and sign the petition in support of marriage for all who want it. Bea Arthur, Chita Rivera, Leeza Gibbons and RuPaul already have.

Parker v. Hurley

In good school news, last week a Massachusetts Federal Appeals Court upheld the Lexington School Districts right to use books that depict queer families without notifying parents.

The lawsuit was brought by two families who felt that their rights under the free exercise clause were infringed upon when materials promoting tolerance and diversity referenced LGBTQ people. At the heart of the lawsuit was a copy of Who’s in a Family in a “Diversity Book Bag”, a classroom library that included Molly’s Family and a 2nd grade teacher reading King and King. The families asked the school district:

(1) to provide an opportunity to exempt their children from "classroom presentations or discussions the intent of which is to have children accept the validity of, embrace, affirm, or celebrate views of human sexuality, gender identity, and marriage constructs," (2) to allow the parents to observe any such classroom discussions, and (3) to not present any "materials graphically depicting homosexual physical contact" to students before the seventh grade.

The court ruled against the plaintiffs, stating:

“There is no free exercise right to be free from any reference in public elementary schools to the existence of families in which the parents are of different gender combinations."

"Public schools are not obliged to shield individual students from ideas that potentially are religiously offensive, particularly when the school imposes no requirement that the student agree with or affirm those ideas, or even participate in discussions about them."

You can read the whole thing here.

Today on Oprah

This lesbian has been thinking about sperm WAY more than usual. And though Oprah drives me nuts, and I am sure today's show, "The Ultimate Reunion: When Dads a Sperm Donor", will kill me a little bit, I will be tuning in at 4:00.

The show synopsis reads, "The first sperm donor babies are now adults, and many are looking for answers. The weigh in on the confusion, the frustration and the questions."

Oh geez. I think D will be for Dad and not Donor in this episode.

Follow-Up: I watched Oprah. It wasn't as terrible as I expected. The donors were sane. Oprah was surprisingly non-judgmental about the choice to use donor sperm. She was much more inclined to see the donor as a donor and not a dad. The kids on the other hand, largely saw their donors as their dads (or second dads). All but two of the kids were "missing something" in their lives, because they didn't know their donor. There was a common theme of wondering if their donor ever thought about them. None of the kids said they had two moms. A few referred to their mom and a dad or just a mom.

Happy Year of the Rat!

My sister gave a set of these stamps to all the little ones on her Lunar New Year gift list. Such a great idea! They are a creative collectible for your budding philatelist AND a unique shower gift for any baby born in the Year of the Rat.

This is first in a series of twelve stamps inspired by the animals of the Chinese calendar. USPS will release one each year through 2019. The Year of the Rat begins today, February 7th and ends January 25, 2009.

I Love Martha

Yesterday, I was an audience member at the Martha Stewart show! I ate her chocolate chip cookies and joked with Joey, her tedious warm up guy. I watched Raquel Welch warm beeswax with a hair dryer and fill wine bottles with soap flakes and love notes. Martha is just like she is on TV—a little awkward and stiff. But her set is perfection. And her empire is full of employees creating fantastic projects for me to enjoy.

Pictured above are her Xs and Os Cupcakes featured in Martha Stewart Kids, Fall 2003. These chocolate and vanilla treats are topped with Swiss Meringue Butter Cream and cinnamon candy designs. An adorable class treat. Or an equally adorable treat to be enjoyed at home in your pajamas on Valentine’s Day.

Tips from Martha: “The cupcakes can be baked a week ahead and frozen, but decorate them no more than a day before serving. Pack the cupcakes in a shallow plastic container, and stuff crumpled waxed paper in between.”

Super Tuesday

Bundle up the babies and head to the polls! Don't know who to vote for? Or love a quiz as much as me? Take a look at Minnesota Public Radio's, Select-A-Candidate quiz.

Bone Marrow Baby

I am not yet a queer momma, but queer temperature-taking-ferning-watching-LH-surging-lady who was compelled to tape Eyewitness News on ABC 7 this afternoon when I saw they were doing an expose titled Making Babies without Men. Whatever was going to be revealed could save me thousands on sperm.

German researcher Wolfgang Engel has successful created imitation sperm using germ cells from mice. Among Engel’s projects is growing sperm from female germ cells. Some say the sperm could be created from cells in bone marrow. He hopes someday such sperm could be used to fertilize an egg. How romantic.

This is the way the way that we live it’s the way that we live and LOOOOVE.